Satan deceives people into thinking that the source of their misery is due to their circumstances and what is going on around them, but actually, the real trouble is due to what is going on inside them. When our focus is on God and His sovereignty, our attitudes begin to change.
—(via nonelikejesus)
(Source: edaisy, via letswritetheending)
If you will give Me your body, I will come in, and make it My home. And I will take those hands of yours, and make them My hands. I will take those feet of yours and make them My feet. I will take that mouth of yours and it will speak My words. I will take those eyes of yours and they can now see what I need you to be seeing in this world. And I will take your heart of stone and make it a heart of flesh, so that it will beat with My burdens, and you will care for the very things that I care about. And your prayers will become My prayers, And your life, and your attitude and your behaviour, every minute of every hour of every day, will be the very behaviour of God. Will you allow Me, to overtake your life? Because then you go into this world, as little lambs - with the faces of lions; because the all consuming, all mighty Father goes out, within His children. - God
(via iwilltrustinyou)
I’ve been a very passionate person for as long as I can remember.
For example:
I become obsessed with things quickly. I pour my entire being into relationships. I make traditions that I wouldn’t think to break. When I want to become something, do something or gain something, I will do whatever it takes. And the list goes on.
Tonight, I was standing at the foot of my bed thinking to myself, what would happen if I got on from the left side of the bed? (This has been my most frequent, minor obsessive compulsive action, if you will. I cannot enter my bed from the left side. I just can’t. That’s wrong. It must always be the right side). I literally stood there and my footing hesitated from left to right. I was at war with myself. This silly little quirk of mine was causing so much dissension within me. Unheard of right? Well, as I was standing there, a whole list of things that I wouldn’t dare do differently popped up in my head. Specifics. I mean, tons of traditions, actions, the types of relationships I have with certain people, my little quirks… Flooding into my head. Then I thought, how much am I missing out on because I am so set on doing things a certain way? How many opportunities? New friendships? Lessons? Adventure? All because I’m a little too comfortable with how I am. I guess I expect things to be or happen a certain way and when they don’t, I tend to panic a bit until I can pull myself together again to restore balance in my head.
See, I fear change. It’s one of my biggest fears. I think it’s because in my life, change has hurt more than it has ever helped. My favorite T.V. show said that change is good because it’s the only way we grow. I wish I could believe that enough to want it.
Anyways, back to the bed thing. So as I said, I was standing there, and I did it. Yep. I got in from the left side. And I panicked for a little bit in the beginning, but after I calmed down, I realized this: I have been living my life so set in my ways - This can only happen with this person. This must be done this way. This is only for these times. This is mine and I want it this way. - But life doesn’t wait for me. Everything else is moving on no matter which way I choose to do things. And I’m missing out on all that I don’t know, which I’m sure is a whole lot of great, because I prefer what I want and am used to.
The left side wasn’t so bad. In fact, here I am writing to you in bed and I am just as comfortable as I would’ve been if I had entered from the right side like I normally do. This might bother me a little bit for a little while. But I think that this, and many other things that I could change by doing differently is something I should get used to. Because I don’t want to miss out anymore. And the disappointment when things turn out differently is no longer worth it.
The ringing in your ears because you’ve been around loud live music for a long amount of time.
The soreness in your cheeks because you’ve been smiling so much.
The shakiness in your voice when you’re nervous because you’re singing someone a song you wrote for them.
The pain in your stomach from laughing so hard.
The slight embarrassment when you begin crying because you’re so happy.
The anxious excitement when someone you like being around sits next to you.
& how cold you feel after just standing in the rain without caring about how soaked you’re getting.
It has been a good weekend.
Everything feels fragile. I’m trying to be so careful. And everything feels like it’s moving all around me, ten times faster than my best attempt at catching up. And everything in me wants to slow down.
This is where I stop. This is where I listen. Stop. Breathe. Listen.
(Source: thenicestwordsyoueversaidtome, via emma-celine)
November 1st, 2006. It was my birthday. I’ll never forget the moment I walked into my house after school to see a black guitar case sitting on the sofa. “Is that for me?” And she shook her head yes. I ran to it, unzipped it and looked at it. Just looked, as my eyes filled with tears. It was beautiful.
A year later, I decided that I wanted to play guitar on a worship team. But I’d need an acoustic guitar with electronics. So we sat at guitar center and she listened to me play through a bunch of them until one felt right. And then it did. With that, I became a worship leader.
Then I decided that I wanted to make my own music. But I’d need an electric guitar and later, a better acoustic guitar. I’ve always dreamed of owning a Taylor. So I’d ask her which color finish and what type of wood she liked best. Together we chose a blonde Fender Baja telecaster and a Grand Auditorium Taylor. Now they get played every week as part of a way for students to draw near to a Holy God.
I wanted to go to Haiti. But I was overwhelmed and discouraged by the financial requirement. She comforted me as I cried because of my realization that I wouldn’t be able to go and she told me that we would find a way. Together, we did. I’ve been twice now and I will be dedicating my life to missions.
———————
Here’s the thing: I have huge dreams. And I make a lot of plans for myself. Honestly, I would find them all very hard to believe possible if not for the support and encouragement of my mother. But she believes in me. And that means everything to me. I have no idea if the dreams and plans I have for myself align with my Father’s. But I know that if I turn out to be half the woman my mother is one day, someone who loves and gives and serves with all of her heart, I’ll be alright and God will be happy with me.
So thank you, Mom, for everything you do and everything you are. I am so blessed to have you as a mother. And I love you so much.
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
“I called it Red because of the tumultuous, crazy adventures in love and loss that it chronicles. In my mind, when you experience love that’s fast paced and out of control and mixes infatuation, jealousy, frustration, miscommunication, and all of those lovely emotions…in retrospect, it all looks red.” - Taylor Swift
A day with my best friend well spent. It was one that I will never ever ever forget… Like ever.
In my head, I am brave and my words match my actions every time.
I begin north. They’re expecting me there.
But instead, I drive. And drive. And drive. Until I am lost. And in my head, I like it.
In my head, I’ve reached the coast where the hills meet the sea. There’s a quietly powerful roar in the waves and the sun paints the hills golden.
In my head, I find a place to sit and pray and be and breathe, slowly and admire the clouds and the color of the sky. It’s different here. Better.
In my head, there’s a town with a shop made of wood and covered in ivy where a woman sells postcards and dreamcatchers. She tells me about her grandfather and how he let her count change with him in the back of the shop after closing time when she was a little girl. And how when he passed last winter, he left the shop to her.
In my head, I find a friend who loves to listen and has the sweetest smile. So we sit on a bench and talk about how Autumn has lost it’s way but it’ll find us soon. I tell him about how I wish I cooked more and how I fear change and how I love to love. He smiles and like the sun now setting, I soak it in and smile back.
In my head, this was exactly what I needed. So I close my eyes tightly and thank God for the day and the progress we made. And in that moment, everything makes sense.
But when I open my eyes again, I am here. Just here. Grey walls, stale air.
I am always just here.
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